|Question ID 3678 - Marriage
I miss Naushaba Dulare Sayyed, age 28 years, from Mumbai India by profession I m a doctor dealing with genetic disorder. My problem is related to my marriage. The problem is like this. Since from last 7 years my parents are finding an appropriate guy for me that they are still not getting any guy some or the other problem happen and the marriage got cancel every time. And every time whenever they saw the istekhara for the marriage it come no. and because of these they are getting disappointed and depressed too. I to go under desperation and felling very low each and every time the boys family come and I feel like insulting myself, my self-respect is now hurting and they disapprove me and my parents also get very disappointed and hurted too. The life is going on very complicated stage. I can’t see my parents like this anymore that’s why I have decided one of the thing that I want a marry a person I know and I also know that person will not annoyed me. I like a person from last 8 years I have said my parents too but the guy was Christian they were not ready and they said me that they will not tolerate the thing that I marry the person and I left the story there but now as the days are passing living at parents’ home is becoming so difficult without marrying any one. I know that person very well and I know that my parents are finding the person like him for me but they are not ready as because of cast and society pressure and I can’t see my parents any more like this I don’t want to run and marry the person how can I solve my problem. We both don’t want to run and marry since it will be not right decision we both want to convince my parent, he is orphan and he now again proposed me for marriage and he is not forcing me to change the cast or any other thing he told you can follow your own cast and there won’t be harm to I from his side, I really want to marry that person as I can see that the person is really a good human being what would I do to explain my parents about these what will be the right way to marry that person I ask my one of my cousin to do istekhara the istekhara for our marriage was also good. How can I explain my parents what is the way of marrying that person. Please help me out it is matter of my life.
|Answer:- Salamun Alaykum wr wb
I write to you being an educated person and I hope that you'll appreciate
the facts which I will mention.
1. A Muslim female is not allowed to marry a non Muslim under any
circumstances; if the person whom you like to marry is really a good
person, he should have been Muslim by now, after 8 years of knowing you. If
he simply reads basic things about Islam and Quran, he will know that Islam
is a pure message from God to guide all human beings. If he insists on
remaining non Muslim following his parents, it means that he is not fit at
all to marry you. After all, the Islamic Shariat is very clear in this
point, that no marriage at all between Muslim female and non Muslim male.
2. You are living in India where millions of Shia Muslims live so it or not
difficult to find a suitable match for you, especially when you are
educated and working. You or your family need to contact some respected
personalities who can seek out a suitable person for you. Being from Sadat
family, there are thousands of Sadat families in Mumbai; you or your
parents may contact respected Ulema in Mumbai to suggest suitable
3. You wrote that one of your friends made Estikhara for you to marry the
person and it came good. This Estikhara is invalid because the act itself
is not allowed in Islam; it is like someone who seeks Estikhara to drink
alchohol and it comes good, does it have any meaning? Estekhara is valid
when it is regarding an act which is allowed not an act which is Haraam.
If you or your parents need any help in this matter you can contact our
trustees in Najafi House, Mumbai 9.